


Avengers in Quarantine

by oookay68



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Boredom, COVID-19, Coronavirus, Everyone is friends, No Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Pandemics, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Quarantine, TikTok, Vines, lockdown - Freeform, social distancing, tiktok references, vine, vine references, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24193507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oookay68/pseuds/oookay68
Summary: You might be bored in this quarantine. But how are the Avengers doing?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	Avengers in Quarantine

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to make you sniff out of your nose whenever you read something that somewhat resembles comedy.

Chapter 1

Peter barged into the penthouse out breath, carrying a backpack full with the contents of his locker.  
“We’re-we’re on lockdown.” he said through breaths. He paused dramatically to see everyone’s reaction. Natasha just looked at him boredly and turned back to the book she was reading. Thor reached out his hand for Mjolnir but it instead found its way to Cap’s hand. Vision flew into the room and T’Challa’s clothes melted away into his Black Panther suit.

“What is it? Is it another alien invasion?” Tony asked as he entered the room munching on some chips. 

“What? No! We’re all quarantined together! A pandemic is going on right now!” Peter shouted.

He was still catching his breath. He ran all the way from school to Stark Tower as fast as he could, believing that if he stayed outside for a second longer he would become infected. 

“A pandemic? I am not familiar.” Thor commented, putting on shades he found on the coffee table and grabbing Tony’s chips. Tony pulled them away from him and slapped his hand. 

“Get your own.” Thor raised his hands in a surrender.

Peter rushed to the kitchen sink and started to scrub his hands, “There’s this disease called the coronavirus that’s infecting and killing everyone! We can’t go outside or we’ll get it!”

“Kid, we’ll be fine, I don’t know if you know, but this isn’t my first pandemic. In fact, I lived through the 1918 flu pandemic.” Cap flipped Mjolnir in his hand, “You know, it’s surprising that I did considering-”

“Steve,” Natasha interrupted, “you were a baby.”

“Okay, well then I should be going back home, Wakanda needs their king-”

“No!” Peter blocked the exit so T’Challa could not leave. “Starting now, we are in quarantine! We can’t leave or go outside or we’ll get infected!” He quickly returned to the sink and resumed scrubbing his hands raw. 

“Peter,” Natasha began, “don’t you think that you’re overexaggerating? As long as you take the necessary precautions-”

“No! We can’t go outside! We’ll all die!”

Tony sighed, “I’ll make you all masks.”  
“Quarantine would be the incorrect use of this current situation. Quarantine is: a state, period, or place in which a person or an animal is isolated from the world to prevent the spread of an infectious disease. Assuming that none of us are infected, we would be in what is called, social isolation.” Vision explained only for everyone to ignore him.

“Peter don’t you have to go back home?” Wanda asked.

“I can’t go out there, not again. Starting now, no one can leave this building.” he responded. All of the Avengers already lived there, it was just him who didn’t but none of the Avengers told Peter to leave since he definitely has major FOMO.

Day 1 of Quarantine

It was 8:00 am and Steve barged into Peter’s room, practically shoving him off the bed, “Kid, you have online classes!” Peter being Peter, just climbed back onto his bed and went back to sleep.

Things were pretty normal considering there was a pandemic going on. Clint wanted to go out and buy toilet paper despite Stark Tower being stocked with it prior to the shutdown. Natasha said, “You can go out and buy all the toilet paper you want but you have to eat it once we all run out of food.” and he never complained about toilet paper again.

Vision and Wanda tried to spend time alone together but it was nearly impossible with Peter always making sure that everyone was at least six feet apart from each other. Thor was amused with the state of everyone. He was Asgardian and could not get sick from mortal diseases but he stayed because he too had major FOMO. It took years before he stopped nagging Cap and Tony about not calling him during their little, “Civil War”.

Bruce and Tony spent time in the lab trying to find a cure. Bruce was quite frantic constantly saying, “We need to find this cure fast or a lot of people are gonna die!” Tony on the other hand, was much more relaxed. He didn’t know how they would test the cure or vaccine whichever they discovered was fine by him. 

“Hey Bruce, who’s gonna be our guinea pig?” Tony asked. He watched from a security camera as Peter frantically scrubbed every surface while Nat sat on the couch watching TV. Thor intentionally left some places dirtier than others, enjoying watching Peter clean them.

“Oh no, I didn’t even think about that!” Bruce shouted. He ran his fingers through his hair. They were all so screwed.

“Well, not to worry, I think I just found our perfect subject.” Tony answered. He pointed Bruce to Thor on the camera, “I’m pretty sure he’s immune, he just wants to stay with us.” 

Day 2 in Quarantine

Sam and Bucky were trading insults which lead to a full on fist fight and both falling out of the window and one hundred stories to their deaths. Luckily Sam for some reason had his wings on and managed to save the both of them. Once back in the tower he threw Bucky onto the ground.

“Yeah, I almost let you fall.”

“Well it wouldn’t be the first time I fell to my death.” Bucky mumbled.

Clint hid in the air vents to hide his stash of food and toilet paper from Natasha. If she ever found out about his secret stash or his hiding spot, she would surely kill him. T’Challa was bored. Everything in America was so old. In Wakanda they had just about everything you had in America except better due to their technological advancements. He passed the time by watching horrible reality television like Keeping up with the Kardashians and 90 day Fiance. Meanwhile, Peter was still cleaning Stark Tower, completely abandoning his studies. 

“Kid, aren’t you sad about missing school?” Bruce asked.

“No Mr. Stark, I have faith in you and Dr. Banner, you guys will find the cure in no time!” Bold of you to assume I even have a brain. Banner said to himself.

Wanda picked up a new show called, The Good Place but immediately stopped during season 1 when Jason married Janet. That one hit a little too close to home.

Thor and Peter were actually bonding because he was educating Thor on the wonders of Tiktok and Vine. Now every five seconds Thor was making references to them.

“Hey, Spiderling, who am I?” Thor shouted from across the room.

“Spider-man.” Peter mumbled.

“Let’s go to the beach beach.” he sang. Peter stayed silent, knowing what was coming.  
“Niki Minjaj…”

Meanwhile T’Challa was getting frustrated with 90 day Fiance. He didn’t care for the other couples, he only focused on one. Ed and Rose. After every segment that featured them ended, he stopped watching. He was invested in them. He was obviously on Team Rose because frankly, she deserved better than a man with no neck who lies and attempts to manipulate her.   
“Ed you are an egg! Rose deserves better!” he always shouted at the TV.   
Overall, Day 2 of Quarantine was going well for the Avengers.

Day 7 of Quarantine

The Avengers were now officially in quarantine for a week now. They weren’t exactly getting on each others’ nerves yet but they were certainly getting there.

“Hey Banner, can your seven phds allow you to talk to tigers?” Thor asked. 

“What?” Bruce looked up from his desk where he was very carefully pipetting a sample of human DNA. Unfortunately, when he looked up he dropped his pipette into the experimental vaccine. 

“Yeah, I just finished watching this documentary, you know, it’s called Tiger King and this man from one of the kingdoms in the U.S was talking to tigers!” Thor continued. He clearly needed to go outside. His hair was already down to his shoulders and his beard was much longer than it was since two days ago when Bruce last saw him. “Oh it’s very interesting and I was wondering if we could get a tiger as a pet. Do you think Tony will mind?”

“What will Tony mind?” Tony asked as he entered the lab.

“Oh I was just thinking since everyone is getting a quarantine puppy that we should get a quarantine tiger.” Thor suggested. “Also, I’m in the ghetto.”

Bruce and Tony waited for a moment while Thor waited for him to finish.

“Ratatataaaaaa ratata- ah!”

Vision hadn’t left the room in seven days. Not since quarantine started. When he exited his room he was a new person, or AI. His face was swollen and puffy and he had dark circles underneath his eyes. And for some reason, he now had hair. Even quarantine was affecting the toasters of the world. When he entered the living room Clint shrieked and jumped onto the table. He didn’t recognize Vision at all. 

“Uhh, what happened to you, Vision? You look…” he eyed him up and down, “Um, different.”  
“Is that… a squirrel on your face?” Nat asked.

“No. The lack of human contact for several days has turned me apparently, more human.” Vision answered. He patted the mustache on his face. 

Sam decided that it was time to take full advantage of Tony’s Netflix account since he felt comfortable joking around with him since Tony blasted him during the little, “Civil War”. He started watching Gossip Girl. Bucky decided to join him on a random episode when a familiar face came on. When Carter Baizen came on Bucky didn’t even notice. But Sam definitely did.

“You look exactly like Carter.”

“What? No I don’t.” Bucky said.

“Did Hydra make you become an actor?”

“I would say no but I don’t know enough about myself to answer that.”

Cap really wasn’t taking quarantine well. Unlike T’Challa or Sam who were thriving, he really wasn’t. He feared that if he heard Tony’s pipsqueak voice one more time that he would lose it and step on him. 

“Hey Capsicle,” Tony said as he entered the kitchen. Steve clenched his fist and counted to ten in his head. Normally, he would greet Tony and they would strike up a short conversation. But not in quarantine.

“Tony.” he replied.

Tony poured lukewarm coffee into a glass cup and opened the fridge, “Oh we’re out of ice.” he looked at Cap, “Do you mind?” he pointed to the cup.

“Funny.” Cap said flatly. “Did you forget your heels?”

Tony chuckled dryly, “Nope, got em right here.” and he started to fly. He held his arm out and his armor soon covered it. He blasted Cap out of the kitchen and outside the window. “Ehh, he’ll live.”

Day 30 in Quarantine

“So. Bored.” Wanda said as she rocked on her bed. Even though she loved Vision, she despised his mustache. He decided to keep it because he thought that it made him look like Brad Pitt. But it was very clear that he did not resemble him at all. Not even a little bit.   
When quarantine started Thor stuck to a very strict workout plan that consisted of him working out six hours a day, three in the morning and three in the afternoon. But as time went on he stopped working out and fully embraced the “Quarantine 15”. So when he left his room after two weeks, he came out 15 pounds fatter.

“Woah Thor, what happened to the workout plan?” Nat asked. He also had a beard growing which had some leftover cheeto dust. 

“Oh Nat!” he exclaimed. He was happy to have human contact again. After spending fourteen days in the dark watching every single romance in every single language he was now an expert at dating. “I’m gonna download Tinder and try to find someone.” He automatically matched with someone. “Wow! That was legitness!”  
“Yeah it was.” she finished.

Peter meanwhile was spending every waking moment on Tiktok. Online school was abandoned and his new schedule was 1pm - 5am of watching people throwing it back. He made many Tiktoks and studied the algorithm of famous Tiktokkers. He found that to be famous you had to: have 90 degree cheekbones, post thirst traps, and never wear a shirt. He attempted to contour cheekbones and attempted to body roll in the dark but found that he looked like a puppy with brown sharpie squares, flopping like a dolphin on land. Those quickly went into drafts.

T’Challa, Sam, and Bucky had watched every single show and movie on Netflix. Even the Kissing Booth. Even though Sam and Bucky always tried to purposely disagree on everything, they agreed that it was quite possibly the worst movie made. But the days felt much longer. They all even finished season 2 of Grey’s Anatomy in a day. Which was impossible since each episode was 40 minutes and there were 27 episodes. 

Day 50 of Quarantine

Everyone got on each others’ nerves now. Steve and Tony couldn’t bear to be in the same room and Sam and Bucky couldn’t bear to even breathe in each others’ direction. Even Peter lost it. He really wished that he was quarantining with Aunt May instead of the Avengers. Wanda had tried many times to shave Vision’s beard but he refused, growing it out so it looked like he taped a wig to his face. T’Challa was desperate to go back home. He’d even revive Killmonger and allow him to take the throne if it meant that he could get away from the Avengers. Rhodey had just come from preventing a terrorist attack but it was clear that even he was getting annoyed with everyone. Thor had multiple virtual Tinder dates with very lovely girls but he ended up talking about Jane the entire time. 

Peter was cleaning a mess that he made. Apparently knocking down the jar filled with rice that would last the Avengers another 50 days made Natasha mad because, ‘it was too loud’. Peter kicked the metal trash can down causing more noise that annoyed her.

“Peter, what is this behavior?” Nat demanded.

“I’m sorry I kicked it by mistake.” Peter said as he continued sweeping the rice.

“You can’t kick it by mistake.”

“Pick it up if it bothers you.” Peter snapped.

“No, you will pick it up.” Nat ordered.

Peter pointed the broom at her, “You don’t tell me what to do.”

“I can tell you what to do.”

“You do not tell me what to do.” Peter spoke over Nat’s lectures repeating himself.

“Or what?” she asked, “Are you going to hit me?”

“Do you want it?”

“I don’t-”  
“Cause you’re asking for it.” Peter snapped, “You’re dying for it! Get off my back. Got it?”

Not that she would usually back off but Nat knew that if provoked she could definitely kill the kid. He went back to cleaning the rice and Wanda came in and asked what was going on. Peter sweeped at the rice furiously and started to smack the broom on the ground. 

“Peter.” Wanda said. He ignored her and continued to smack the broom, “Peter. Peter calm down.” the broom bent and Peter snapped it on the ground.

“Peter calm down.” Wanda continued.

“Peter what is wrong with you? Why are you breaking it?” Nat demanded.

“Peter you can’t behave like this!” Wanda shouted as he left the room.

“The volume inside of this bus...is astronomical!” Thor said as he walked into the room.

Day 75 of Quarantine

They were all on each others’ last nerves. It was now 3 months since the lockdown started. Everyone went outside on the terrace as much as they could but they couldn’t bear to share it with anyone. They had to book a certain time on the terrace and could only be out there for about 15 minutes. 

Steve stepped out on the terrace and breathed in the fresh air of New York. It had been years since the big city last had clear air. He heard birds chirping. Nature was finally returning. The streets weren’t filled with litter. Everything was right. Well, except for the fact that there is a pandemic going on. But he enjoyed the moment.

Peter handed Thor a soda can, “Hey Thor, you want some?”

He grabbed the can, “This bitch empty, YEET!” and he chucked it as hard as he could and created a hole in the wall.

Tony stepped out on the terrace and breathed in the fresh air of New York. A few of his Iron Legion suits were flying in the sky. Even they needed some time away from humans. Nature was finally returning. 

“What are you doing here?” Steve asked. Tony jumped when he heard him.

“It’s my turn to be outside.” he answered. Steve pulled out his phone and checked the appointments.

“Uh no, it’s not.” he shoved his phone in Tony’s face. 

“Well Capsicle, I’m already out here so you can go back in, plus, there’s like ten other terraces.”

Steve chuckled, “Tony, this is the best terrace. And, you need to find the cure.”

“Did anyone ever tell you that you breathe too loud?” 

“Did anyone ever tell you that you blink too loud?” Steve countered. “I’m gonna say this once. Get off my terrace.”

“How about nonce?” Tony said. “This is Stark Tower.”

“Which you made Avengers Tower therefore making it ours.”

“And it became Stark Tower once you tore the Avengers apart.”

Oof. “You want a second round?” Steve challenged.

“Yeah, you wanna get beat again?”

“I’m pretty sure you were the one lying on the ground at the end.”

Tony stuck his arm out and one of the Iron Legion suits came to him and he blasted Cap into the wall. Steve grabbed a chair and threw it at Tony who blasted it. 

Bruce entered the terrace, “Oh, sorry, I thought it was my terrace time.”

“Stay out of this Banner!” Steve shouted as he dodged a blast from Tony. He threw a table which shattered on Tony who quickly got up.

“No, why shouldn’t we let the green guy out?” he shot another blast which barely missed Steve.   
“Leave him out of this Tony!”

“C’mon, blow off some steam. We didn’t have-” Tony dodged a potted plant, “-you on our side last time.”

“Then I get Thor!” Steve threw another table. 

“STOP!” Bruce yelled and the two stopped fighting. 

“Whose side Sobchak?” Tony referenced. 

“I give up!” Bruce shouted. The two became silent, “We all stopped watching the news fifty days ago. I was experimenting to see how we would all get along.”

“Bruce what are you talking about?” Steve asked. 

“I actually found a cure fifty days ago.”

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry, since the Avengers hadn't been watching the news they didn't know that Bruce already distributed the cure. People just aren't going outside because they have realized that they are all introverts. Thank you for reading! I hope this brought some amusement.


End file.
